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 Disclaimer Detail

All rights reserved; Terms are subject to change without notice; Illustrations are slightly smaller and may not show detail; Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; Hand wash only, Tumble dry on low heat; Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; Your mileage may vary; No substitutions allowed; Offer good for a limited time only; This message is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; Caveat emptor; Message is provided “as is” without any warranties; Reader assumes full responsibility; An equal opportunity message; No shoes, no shirt, no message; Quantities are limited while supplies last; If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; Parental advisory – explicit lyrics; Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; Keep away from sunlight; Keep away from pets and small children; Limit one-per-family please; No preservatives added; Slippery when wet; Safety goggles may be required during use; Sealed for your protection, Do not read if safety seal is broken; Call before you dig; Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; For external use only; If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; Read only with proper ventilation; Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; Keep away from open flames; Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; Smoking this message could be hazardous to your health; Reading is addictive; No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician; May cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect; Read with food; Use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery; Possible penalties for early withdrawal; Offer valid only at participating sites; Slightly higher west of the Rockies; Allow four to six weeks for delivery; Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. 

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot,BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.);
Other restrictions may apply;